Anonymous, open, known egg donors: Which is best?
Everyone who is considering using an egg donor will eventually need to decide whether they want their child to have the option to know the identity of their donor when they get older. While there is no right or wrong answer, intended parents need to learn about their options and make an informed decision about their preference early in the process.
The first step is understanding the terminology. Read on for the key definitions.
Anonymous (Non-Identified) Egg Donation
In anonymous egg donation, the identity of the donor is not disclosed to the intended parents or the resulting child. The donor remains anonymous, and no identifying information is shared between the parties. This type of donation is often preferred by donors and recipients who wish to maintain privacy. The donor and recipient usually have no contact, and the only information provided to the intended parents is non-identifying, such as medical history, physical characteristics, and educational background.
Open (Identified) Egg Donation
In open egg donation, the donor's identity is known to the intended parents and, potentially, to the resulting child. The donor and intended parents agree to share identifying information, which may include names, contact information, and personal backgrounds. This type of donation allows for the possibility of future contact between the donor, the intended parents, and the child. Open donation can provide more transparency and allow the child to have access to their genetic history, which some families find beneficial for medical and personal reasons.
Known (Directed) Egg Donation
In known egg donation, the donor is someone known to the intended parents, such as a friend or family member. The donor's identity is fully disclosed, and there is often a pre-existing relationship between the donor and the intended parents. Known donation can offer a greater sense of trust and familiarity, as the parties involved usually have a personal connection. Legal agreements and counseling are typically recommended to ensure that all parties understand their rights and responsibilities and to address any potential emotional or relational issues that may arise.
Reflecting on Your Choices
Our best advice is to spend time reflecting with your partner or by yourself to see what matters to you, and which option makes your feel the most comfortable. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
How important is it for me to know the identity of the egg donor?
Am I comfortable with the idea of never meeting or knowing the donor if I choose anonymous donation?
If I choose an anonymous donor, how might my child feel about not knowing their genetic background?
Do I want to provide my child the option to contact the donor in the future?
Am I comfortable with the potential for the donor to have some level of ongoing contact if we choose a known donor?
What are the legal implications of using an anonymous, open, or known donor in my country or state?
Have I consulted with a reproductive attorney to understand the legal agreements needed for each type of donation?
Am I open to the possibility of my child wanting to establish a relationship with the donor later in life?
How will I feel if my child has questions about their donor that I cannot answer if I choose anonymous donation?
In a perfect world, we would be able to easily answer these questions. But reality isn’t always as clear-cut. Consulting with medical, legal, and psychological professionals can help to give you answers to the practicalities, but at the end of the day, your options may be limited because of where you live or what your clinic can offer.
At the end of the day, the most important thing for your future child will be the support you can give him or her to find their way through any questions that arise about their story. As parents, you can help to prepare your child to have the resilience and resourcefulness to navigate any challenges that they may face because of their conception.
